>D.A. my dear D.A

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Now D.A. is embarrassed and he wants me to tell him if there is a smiley to depict that!! Oh my dear D.A. you have no idea how much you are valued and treasured.. What your stupid and silly smileys mean to me and mostly, your one phone call/sms cheers me for the whole day… You are loved and revered and respected.. So my dear dear dear D.A. you are not just my star you are my super star, my guardian angel!! And Angels do not feel embarrassed!!! Keep the halo and the wings in place the rest will be taken care of…   Now D.A. what would I do with out you?????

I Know if I am ever lost on this long journey of life where to turn to for directions and I know D.A. you are there some where 🙂. I am not alone

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>D.A. you are my Star!!

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It is very important that when you loose your faith there is someone to walk you through.. Well the last couple of years May has  been tough for me but I have been equally lucky to have people beside me to believe and trust in life and most important, in me.

This year it was my dear dear D.A… I do not what is it about him that you want to believe what he says. They are simple basic things, no high fly philosophical gibberish.  When i told him about my May syndrome; his simple advise was ” yes, things do not go right for you, but look at it as a mere co incidence and mostly have faith things will change, they ought to look up.” Now at the time he had said this I was  like he has no clue what I have been through and it is very easy to say sitting on the other side.. but honestly, I tell you this is the first time in many years when May has not directly affected me, well there are teething problems with life it is is always there but on the whole it  has been one of the smoothest in a long long time..

Now you might just call it co incidence but I look at it as the jinx has been broken and all thanks to D.A… He taught me to believe to have faith and most important he led me to trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel. To most what he did is nothing extraordinary but for me it was nothing less than a miracle to see this month pass so smoothly. What touched me was his sincere, selfless advice and the every now and then inquiry to check on me and my mood. Very few people do that in this day and age where we live  with this philosophy “every one for himself and God for us all.” His medical advise deserves a mention here as well 🙂

They say you cannot choose your family but you can choose your friend and I am so thankful to the Lord that I chose him. Rarely does a person com into my life and let me grow and develop in his philosophy and D.A. is one of them.. So far I have had just had one other person my Brat brother… But for D.A. whatever I say is not enough for all he did.. I am grateful he taught me to live, hope and believe in May, in myself and in Life.. I will not thank him, it would be an insult to his contribution, for thank you is not enough and if I were to start to say thank you now then I would have to say it a million times before I die because I a pretty sure this is first of his many Counseling and Medical Sessions with me…..

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>Hello There!!

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A warm Saturday good morning. I am sorry for having been away for a while. It is just that I have not been that well. The heat got the better of me in the last two weeks or so. I have been virtually cut off from the world, delirious with sever body ache with the intermittent vomiting and nausea, I really haven’t had the time or the energy to socialise much. My poor mother has pretty much tried everything to get me back on my feet from holding soup bowls to putting me to sleep at night. The doctor’s advise or the lack of it did not do much. A blood test is due and hopefully it will not look like a parabola like the last two..

First time in ten days I have logged into the virtual world and  my inbox is overflowing well mostly with useless mails. My work mail well that is another story, less said the better. But one good thing is that my boss has been very supportive throughout my illness inquiring everyday now the cynic in me says he is doing this because he needs me and my work not out of love or concern, but non the less I would like to give him the benefit of doubt.. But there is some one who has actually been inquiring after me and imparting with some valuable advice; D.A. or Dr D.A as he likes to call himself.  He has been only too kind to instruct me about the dos and don’ts in my present condition.. Most of the advice imparted is common knowledge but what counts is the thought.. so thank you there and he asks me whether he gets to keep his medical license.. to which I said umm hmmm… ummm  hahahaha….. 

In other news I hit the gym first time in 2 weeks and discovered my strength has gone down the drain but some workout is better than none.. I feel rejuvenated. Oh oh I did a tarot reading for a very dear friend a couple of weeks back of which I received a feedback, shall discuss that in another post..  That is been it actually mostly sick, well it is May I should have known something has to go wrong however big or small.. 2 more days to go before this wretched month is over and 11 months breather…before the cycle starts all over again…

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>And they never lie !!

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I finally read my cards last night. Something I had been wanting to do for a while but just could not get myself to look at them. But Last Night I felt a strange pull and a strong desire to read them.. I have believed in Tarot since I can remember, I swear by my cards, I love them like my child, even so I sleep with them, just a sort of reassurance that they are there, But you know there are times when you tend to loose it with your loved ones too and that is what happened to me, without going into much details it is just that something I thought would happen did not mature, so I kind of took my anger and frustration out on my cards and banished them.. Then how long can you really tear yourself away from those you love..

Off late there had been this strange desire to look at them. It was as if they were calling out to me and I just could not contain myself.. So I took them out and from the moment they rested on my palms, I sort of felt a strange connection, a familiarity and a sense of calm. I took them and went through a random reading , the cards presented to me were:

Now there was no question really, but the sequence of cards in terms of the Magician, The Tower and the Empress just came up and fitted perfectly into my present scenario. With new beginnings, new challenges and new job, new life in a new country etc.  To create something new. To start new ventures great. Then off course there was the Tower.. As stated unexpected things did happen and disappeared before my eyes even sooner than I had imagined.I did take that leap and landed my self into sticky situations.. Finally it showed the Empress.. That is something I am yet to see, before I comment.

But the Surprising thing is I have been reading cards for nearly a decade now and what never ceases to surprise me is that how on earth these cards know what is going on.. I mean it is a fantastic tool.. It is this mirror where you can see your own reflection and the best thing about them is they give you very valuable sound insights with out the blah blah babbling..

Now I know why I felt like the way i did the past few days, it is because my cards wanted to talk to me, tell me where I went wrong and what I ought to do to correct myself.  The best thing about them is that they are such patient teachers that they sit you down, let you think, reflect guide you when you stray away, yet they never spoon feed you and finally, they never lie!!!

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>Cards always have a tale to tell

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I have been putting this away for a while but you know there are times when something calls out to you and you just cannot help but not look at it. I have not touched Tarot cards in 3 months.. I do not know why but I was really put off with them. They promised me something and when that did not come my way I was upset, hurt and crushed. The thing is tarot cards never promise anything they merely give you a direction and when things go astray there it is a sign of warning to look into yourself and reason why things happen the way they do. 

 For the last few weeks things have not been going the way I had wished and I had hoped for so that is when I felt that the cards need to be taken out.. The thing about Tarot cards is that they are your true faithful friends, they give you an insight best of all they are a mirror to you and your life. This year has been rather rocky and patchy and I should have spoken to my best friends long time ago, should have sort their advise and most importantly trusted their insights when they tried to warn me 6 months back.. I was too proud to accept them and took it as a challenge to beat them.. But I was wrong.. I forgot destiny never lies.. fate never lies.. But you know something they say better late than never… I guess it is time I sort refuge and took solace from my tarot cards…  

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>Britain’s New Marriage

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Britain voted its youngest Prime Minister after 200 years. The last time it was William Pitt the Junior who became PM at the age of 29. Britain welcomed a coalition government after 65 years and for the first time in its history we have a Tory-Lib Dem alliance. The Labour stranglehold has finally ended and it was hoped that a single party (Tories) would take the reins. But after much bargaining and consultation coalition was the best way out. Britain has been making news all this week.

There are two broad challenges facing the Cameron Government. First of all the fiscal issue. A new emergency budget has to be handed in the next two months identifying the key areas of deficit. At the given moment Britain faces a huge fiscal deficit. Expenses need to be cut down by 6 billion pounds. With the depreciation of the value of pound world over there is a growing concern over the debts incurred.  Secondly, with the Greek financial crisis looming in the background it is essential and prudent for Britain to begin its cost cuttings now.

Political reforming will be an equally challenging job for the Tories. The non-aggression pact between the two parties has been signed and it is important that they adhere to the clause. Secondly, although Lib-Dems get five position in the Cabinet, the key post will be up for the Tories grab. Then there is the whole issue of the fixed parliament with the next election dates been declared on May 2015. That is to say that the government is to continue unless there is majority for dissolution i.e. majority of 55%. But there are differences in the two parties in terms of Britain’s nuclear deterrent. Tories stand on immigration already shows struggle and fudge with Liberal Democrats and their agenda for amnesty of those already in Britain would not be upheld. There is also the concern for Human Right’s campaign which the Lib-Dems want to be upheld and Tories repealed. 

The problem here is that both parties are too hostile to one another. Their differences are irreconcilable. Although Mr Cameron was quoted to have said at a meeting “However much we disagree about issues, we should try to work together for the benefit of Scotland and the whole of UK as well. It will be interesting to see how they take it from here. Both leaders in their early 40s “well bred Englishmen” with sound temperament and in such a fragile alliance this may hold the key.

Finally, Mr Clegg and Mr Cameron may get along well with smiling faces on the Downing Street Lawn but their management skills will be tested to the extreme by their own parties. Mr Clegg has his own devils to fight. In the recent Lib-Dem convention at Birmingham, Mr Charles Kennedy the former chief of the party has refused to support the bid for coalition fearing that this would wreck the plans for a centre-left government. meanwhile the Labour party will try and attract the voters at the local level especially those who are aggrieved by Mr Clegg’s decision to strike a deal with David Cameron.

For now they are both making a serious attempt to work things out and move away from the very uninspiring minority government to bigger and better alliance. Labour has finally been out voted adter 13 years, a change was imminent and now it is to see how long does this “marriage” last. 

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>I dwell in Possibility

>Emily Dickinson despite her brilliant poetic skills is still an underrated  writer. I have loved her poems since I can remember. But this one is a personal favourite.. I find it very inspiring.. It lets me think, dream and aspire for. When there are possibilities  the sky is the limit and the Universe is your Oyster…


I dwell in Possibility —
A fairer House than Prose —
More numerous of Windows —
Superior — for Doors —

Of Chambers as the Cedars —
Impregnable of Eye —
And for an Everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky —

Of Visitors — the fairest —
For Occupation — This —
The spreading wide of narrow Hands
To gather Paradise —


Emily Dickinson

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>Be A Contribution

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I grew up in a fairly liberal household. Which meant apart from the much freedom of thought and expression that was allowed to flow around; it was also expected that I would grow up to have a successful career. Now as a child I had been well student of very average capacity. My teachers had a lot of expectation and they felt I never really tried hard enough. Now to be honest academia never really interested me much then. You see what happens is that when something is thrusted upon you and one has to perform per force it is not very inviting. Every time  my results were due I would dread those dinner table talks with my parents. Not that they would upbraid or take me to task but the disappointment was apparent on their face and the fact I had failed to achieve something yet again kept rankling me and there was an undertow of anxiety for  long time.


As I grew up this success/failure thing forced me to judge my self everything . I constantly kept judging myself and was convinced that I would never be as good as my sisters in terms of career and academics. Nothing seemed to be good enough for me.. I would be in my classes but never really be there.. I forced myself to study science to prove to everyone that I too was capable of being a doctor an engineer.. Yet again I miserably failed at that.


However, slowly but surely I did get my niche in terms of academics and career but I was never satisfied.  I had all the support of family but I still found myself distrustful and I rarely gained peace in my professional and personal life. It was during my Masters In university College London, that my professor, my mentor told me remember if you put in your heart and do your best you would be an A. Even if it is a C on your paper you would have made a valuable contribution to yourself, the contribution of learning, and that in itself is an A. This is something that struck me hard and in some years later when I read a book by Ben Zander “Art of possibilities” did I realise that being a contribution in itself is the greatest reward. The best thing about being a contribution is that there is no winner or looser. 


I remember an instance when I was working with the National Health Services in the UK, a patient one day came up to me, she was 82 years old, a Cancer patient and had been desperately trying to seek an appointment with a consultant without any success. Each time she would walk up to the corridor and after having failed yet again she would weary make her way out of the hospital. She looked rather distressed ; She said “no one cares about people like us because they know we are spent force and what does it matter if we live or die.” I felt sorry for her and being in a administrative position I had access to the doctors and after a few phone calls and   and some pleading and sugar talking I finally managed to get appointment for her. She came up to me and in a thick Yorkshire accent said ” a fine youngster like you, why did you waste your time for me and why did you help me. ” I was taken aback with the question and I myself did not know why did I do it. after regaining myself i lightly told her “well you see till this morning you made it only to the corridor and now you can actually have a go at the magazines of the waiting room.” She gave me the most radiant smile and suddenly all the work that was piled up on my desk did not seem heavy any more. I felt light, and I knew I had been a contribution and that possibilities were endless when you contribute. When you are a contribution each morning you can bask in this glory that you could be a gift to somebody. Nothing else matters, success, money, fame or for that matter where you stand.. What matters is that some one has lived and you were an instrument in that.. 

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>Here I go again!!

>And May has done it again!! I had so wished this year could be slightly different…. out of the ordinary but May disappoints me everytime… So it has happened… Now just one question… WHY ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am never getting that answer…..am I?

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>The Bearded Bard

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As Tagore steps into his 150th year… the realization dawns that poet has more meaning in our lives than ever before.. As a child I would often hear  many of his compositions but never really listen to them.. But as I grew older I found his blank verses have such depth in them and very few composers across the world can match that standard.. 

The interesting thing about his verses are that there is one for every occasion ; in joy, in sorrow, in life, in death and perhaps even beyond. I do not know about others but I have seen that when ever I hit my lowest; his music comes as a source of tremendous inspiration and it always helps me to bounce back… I tell my self if this man despite all the tragedies he faced in his life time which is in comprehensibleness  for most of us could survive and create such works then I too should be able to pull  myself together..

Tagore has taught me many things, to start with he has taught me to love music, to appreciate what I have and try and seek happiness from with in. One of his songs.. “gaaner bhitor diye jokhon dekhio bhubon khani, tokhon taare chini ami tokhon taare jaani” The song is so true when music becomes your soul you tend to perceive the universe through it and there is a whole new dimension.. The universe is full of light full of love.. and through music I can hear the universe in it rhythm of syllables… That is when the Universe and I become one.. My heart trembles at its every touch and in its beauty and music I loose my self beyond all boundaries. That is when I can see all of you through me; in me…… Sort of a rough translation to the song but it is very true.. Music gives a whole new approach and This and many of his other blank verses have not only a tale to tell but some valuable lessons to teach…

It is a pity that not many people around the world can read his original and have to satisfy themselves with the translations which on their own accord are of very high standards but they are not the same.. Those few who can read him and the fewer who can chew and digest his composition would agree that rarely is such a man born who can turn world even after 69 years of his death…… 

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