Archive for the ‘Hope’ Category

Post 209

You Me aur Hum…

Sorry, I have been away for a while… No particular reason, You could call it laziness, its not like i had nothing to write, trust me I had enough matters to pen down but for what ever reason never really got around to do so and as always, I had an excuse, work!!!  Anyway coming back to the point.. so here I am…

It is November 2011 finally..Which means in 18 days time I am getting married… Right yes, it is true I am indeed getting married.. Prithwish is back from his tantalising  business trip and yes,we are all set to tie the knot.. I mean almost…

Ok may be may be not.. I mean I love this man to bits there is no two ways to that   and I want to spend the rest of my life with him… I have so many plans for us together, so many dreams and all this while I had i had it figured, so I thought, but as they say life is not a SWOT analysis and you do not have an SOP..  I know I want it all with him, only thing is I am  not sure do I want it now, am  I ready for this, will i be able to handle it all, what ifs and if nots are the things that keep coming to my mind and I feel like withdrawing into some sort of a shell, hide my self and pretty much stay there.. I wish I had the luxury of doing so…

There is work that keeps you busy, with a monthly magazine, weekly news letter and other pending issues, most of my day goes in sorting them but then there are still 14 odd hours left and that gives me enough time to fret and worry… In short I am scared to my wits end and have been for sometime.. Have I spoken to Prithwish about it? Off course I have and we are sailing in the same boat trust me.. except he looks at it differently… He told me that yes, it will be a new setting,yes,we will make mistakes and no there will not be rainbows day after day but as long as we are together the rest will fall in to place.. Strangely, My daddy had said the same thing to Mum after their marriage and there’s have been one of the most happy and successful marriage i have known..interesting…

Last week there was a little ceremony a kind of puja at our place where in Prithwish had to be present  That is when I reaslised how important he is..This was done for our happy life… His presence him  holding my hand and promising that come what may I will stand by you.. that is what matters.  All this while I have been fretting but last Saturday when he stood by me and One look at his face, and my troubles seemed to take a back seat and I am assured that as long as we are together the rest will figure it self.. Yes,we will have our fights and bickering and yes, we will argue but then which happy marriage does not, at the end of the day what matters that we are together and when you wake up in the morning he will be there right by my side ( at least I hope he will be unless I do not drive him up the wall by then). So as I stood holding his hands, I could see a life time of adventures, action, drama, laughter and a lot of love and fear seemed to have lost its way completely… Life had never been this beautiful not to mention inviting….


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Post no. 208

I love You…..

Sometimes it is not enough to assume…. there are times you must say and say you must over and over again.. so that you have never have to regret for not having said so… 

Darling I love you, for the person you are, for the joy you give me, for the light you bring in, for the smile on my face, for the odd tears (trust me you need that too)… For bringing the best in me…  For holding me when I fall and giving me the strength to go ever onward..For being my best of friends and my severest critic and correcting me when ever falter so that I can aspire to be best and for being my biggest inspiration behind cooking a hobby I have learnt to love….

I love you for sitting through my tears and the ever so comforting assurance and believing in me more that myself that I will be “just fine” even when you are not around… When you left 2 months back ( though I know it is only temporary) I felt my world crumbling literally. To the world I was brave with a smile on my face, telling them oh he will be back but my heart knows how much I cried and how much I was torn to see you go.. It was then that you held on to me and said “Nandini I am always there and when ever you are lonely just think of me and there will be a smile on your face and that smile will be mine.” Trust me, that statement of yours have kept me going all these days….

Above All I love you for loving me just as I am and I love you for who you are and always have been…. My dear .

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>Post no.203


May that Finally Was!!

I lived through.. I survived May, For the first time in 14 years nothing went wrong, no accidents (well almost), let us just put it this way  nothing major… No Deaths however close or distant family and friends.. Just the one bout of depression and that too was well handled.. An oh so smooth May I had always hoped and wished for finally came my way.. 

Credits :
 D.A. for instilling this belief in me that this too shall pass.. A year back D.A. held this belief and a year   on, D.A. thank you.. for your keeping you faith when mine faltered …Without you this would not have been possible.. But to thank you will be an insult to our relationship.. just a heartfelt gratitude…

Mum and Dad: Every year since that fateful year, you stood firm in your conviction that there will come that one May when I would laugh again and I could say that my tears would finally bring me laughter. Priceless support!!!

And where do I start.. You my dear, did what none could ever manage to do, you taught me to laugh in May.. You taught me to be happy and mostly you taught me to look beyond my depression and appreciate all that is.. And for all the love that became my shield my strength to tide through this… Your love got me to believe, to hope for, to dream off and of all to smile and to live.. A feeling impossible pen down.. Just that; I keep wondering how is one capable of so much love……….. 

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>Post no. 201


A Start of a New Journey… Together

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>Post no.200


Happy Birthday my darling… Oh how I wished I was with you.. I missed you more than ever. How  I would have cradled you held you and wished you over a million times. The very thought of you in a distant land, away from your family, from your love from the life you have known.. It wrenches my heart to think that this Birthday you would have spent wondering and reflecting on all the Birthdays that you spent with loved ones.. Yes, I know we are not children anymore but the thing is no matter how old you get, this is one day when you wish you were treated like a priced pampered child.. this does not change really… 

Yes, you return in 2 day’s time and the celebration continues from then on.. and perhaps for all the Birthdays to come in this lifetime.. Nonetheless, the sadness of that day of being alone lingers on….. Darling I know how hard it is… But then again as I whimper by myself, I cannot help but not think of all that is yet to come and all that we are yet to share.. Suddenly, in all this sadness there is a sense of hope and there is assurance that this life, what ever may come, it will be a one long wonderful journey with all its ups and downs, a road well traveled with you by my side…

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